Friday, November 28, 2008

#2 The End, The Begin

I've let him go. I've surrender.

After the Dilemma, I realize looking him tearing is such a great pain in me. More thought streaming into my mind ever since then.

It wasn't really bad thing I guess. It’s hurt a lot; too much that I can barely take it but there’s no point of two person suffer in pain if the situation can be contained by some extend of sacrifices.

I’m still a winner after all – consolation prize.

Although I did not strike the jackpot but I could stop the pandemic in our relationship, to devastate us. We’re still living together, chatting casually, having my access to his penis, hug him and kiss his chin. The only different is he’s no longer my Honey.

It is awkward for me to call his name like every other friends does, I just went straight into whatever I wanted to say without addressing him at the moment. There’s a lot more need to be adjusted, hope I’ll be able to cope with that real soon.

I also notice that ever since I’ve let him go, everything between us is feels better. I can talk with him carefree, jumping around the house like I used to be.

Deep inside me, I’m hoping that this is not the end for our relationship but a new beginning. Yet, I’m not sure this is right thinking or not

Whatever it is, I love him. I love him so much. I let him go is not because of anything but I love him and it’s what he wanted. I’m just giving all my love’s wishes.

Bless me please.

1 comment:

[SK] said...

sometimes keeping a distant and creating a comfort zone do help.. all the best and am sure you are always blessed.. :)