Sunday, May 30, 2010


Once again, I've been slacking in my entry for a really long time...I think my life is in actually such a roller coaster ride between this entry and the previous entry which is just a few months away. There's so much is going on in life. I'll try to summarised it here.

Shanghai world expo has started a month ago, I was actually planned to be the first few visitors to arrive at the expo on the second day of the opening but it got scraped because of work. I've applied a 1 week leave from my office for this very much anticipated trip yet I have to cancel it, it's such a big disappointment to me.....anyway, my flight still has about 2 months of validity from now....

On personal side, I've lost 10 KGs of weight in pass 6 months simply because I don't have time for gym anymore. I thinks I'm literately has no life at all besides professional life at current moment. Back to my weight issue, it's very frustrating for a fact that it's almost impossible for me to gain weight! No matter how much I eat, it won't help. The only viable way for me to put on weight is to gain muscle mass, which is not that easy at all. Commitment I've made to the gym are huge, the money, the time and effort I spent on is something I'd never imagined before I actually got into it. Sadly, all my effort has gone down into the drain. As soon as I stopped gymming, the body just metabolite every single additional cells under my skin into thin air.

Plenties of people around me, especially my personal friends tried convince me to leave my current office for a better work, life balance. They never succeed in it because I enjoy working there although it consume me away and also I sees a lot of potential in this office in current and future. It's where I started my professional development, they've been a great support, platform, mentor, teacher and everything in helping me to become a real significant player in my industry. For that matter, I somehow developed a sense of belonging to this office. Until recently, something struck me very badly and I wanted to submit my resignation letter but it didn't went too well, I'm still stuck in the same office as I was since nearly 3 years ago....

I've been desperately wanting a really good holiday or a break, as I've mentioned in my much earlier entry. This long weekend seems to be a prefect break for me loose myself and found my old self back. Had lot and lots of party and alcohol, in a healthy way since I can't party as hardcore as I was in college time anymore. Got myself a room in Hotel Maya to facilitate this party weekend, it felt nothing better than living in my old lavish, expensive spoiled brat life. Have glass and glasses of martini, checked into the most expensive room a hotel can offer, have a bottle of Moet Chandon and flush half a bottle of them into the drain, eating niching but not any lower fine food (although the dinner at a Korean restaurant last night was truely disappointing one) and most importantly to have a good company with me to share the life with. I think all I need now is a good rest and sleep to recover myself, mentally prepare myself to go back into my reality in less than 24 hours from now.....

Anyway, in short I think I'm still living in fab lane and call me self-delusional or anything you want, that knowing that comfort me a lot....

Till my next entry, bless me please ;)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


I think I've reached to a point that I'm feeling upset about what I'm doing right now.

I know I'm still new in my industry and tremendous opportunity has fall on my shoulder. I should be proud of what I'm doing right now but I'm not too sure if I can handle this anymore. Worse, I'm not too sure if this is what I want for my future anymore...or maybe all I need is just a good break to refresh my passion toward the design and architecture?

Okay, enough of rambling. I shall get back to work. I'll pen more stories here as soon as I have time to do so. There's a recent incident strike me very badly, I'll keep that for my next entry anyway :)

Till then, bless me please.


Monday, December 7, 2009

The End & The Beginning

Here comes December, I think it’s time for me to clear my “blog debt” before the snow ball effect kicked-in. Honestly I just don’t know how to start this entry and trying to B.S. something out of nowhere.

Let’s start with what I’ve done this year.

Join my current employer for slightly more than 1 and a half year. It has been quite a challenging year for me in my career, learnt a lot and progressed. Looked through my 2009 project folder, I’ve been given plenty of chances to get involve into some very high-profile projects in year 2009. Among (few that I can mention) are Amarin Wickham, Seni Mont Kiara, ZHEN Bukit Pantai. It’s very satisfying to look-back the progress of each project until they’re completed.

From Portfolio
One of my favorite loose feature I've created this year

Also went to few destinations for my escape in 2009. Although there’s some hiccup in each and every trip but overall they’re all more than rewarding. Places I’ve went this year are Penang during CNY with family, Langkawi with Louisa and second visit with SK, Koh Samui with my office colleague and Bangkok.

From Bangkok

The Bangkok trip is particularly interesting one. It was suppose to be a trip with my “old-yet-not-so-close” friend. We know each other back in Liquid period; do your calculation if you want to know how long we’ve known each other. It turned out that there’s some mate of mine that we always party together in all kind of fashion and lifestyle events are heading to Bangkok during the same period too. On top of that, one of them is temporary living in Bangkok and been living in Bangkok for months prior my arrival. So my trip suddenly became a holiday with some glam friends together with privileges that I used to getting in KL.

From Ko Samui 09

I’ve been in a “dry season” since I broke-up with “him”, I’m not too sure if this is long or not. No sex, no date and nothing at all. Not that I can’t let him go or anything silly like that but I just don’t find anyone has the quality or attraction that I’m seeking for, at least that’s what I thought. Until very recently, I met this person in Bangkok and followed by another one in KL. They both somehow has the charm the making me smile and let me liking them a lot. After did some quick research about the guy I met in KL. We’re actually living in the same social circle. There are events that we both attended but how could I not noticing his present all these while? I guess there’s one thing in my life that I can’t change – being snobbish.

Speaking of snobbish, you might think I’m should adjust my attitude. Allow me to defense myself a little here. It’s not my fault for being almighty and thinking I’m much superior to others, there’s way too much “indecency” going on right in the city. I’ve got involved into couple of event organizing work this year and to my upmost surprises, Malaysian has degraded to an extreme where everyone is buying LV, Gucci or Prada without knowing why are they being expensive as long as they can effort them and worse, not knowing how to pronounce these luxury brands properly. I’ve frequently bump into person who pronounce Prada as “pla-da”, Gucci as “gu-ji” and my most iconic experience was in Bangkok. I was with a friend of my friend walking into Siam Paragon from BTS station, stumbled right in front of us is Pucci outlet and he straight away scream “Ew! There’s Gucci and Thais make Pucci”. I was speechless for a moment and choose to forgo what I just heard.

From Untitled Album

It’s sad to see I’m surrounded by people who can’t speak proper languages; I don’t expect everyone to speak in American accent, British accent, like how Taiwanese or Chinese speak Mandarin or Hong Kong speaks Cantonese but at least make an effort to construct your sentences properly before you actually speak it out.

Sorry for dragging so far away, let’s come back to the topic here – what I’ve done this year. Other than what I’ve mentioned above. I got quite active in GLBT scene this year, solely by accident and I like what I’m doing, organizing events, making gay movement and etc. Also I’ve finally took my step in weight training seriously during middle of the year and the transformation is fabulous. Unfortunately, due to my mother condition I always get caught between work and home, as well as financial dilemma so my fitness regime has to be put on hold. Regardless, I’ll make sure my fitness regime is my utmost priority of my 2010 resolution.

Well, I guess that’s pretty much the highlight of me in 2009. Hopefully, 2010 will be a great year ahead which will cherish and nourish me to be who I want to be. Looking forward of making my full 2010 resolution and planning soon.

PS: My birthday is just 3 days away from now ;)

Monday, October 26, 2009


Wow! It has been a really long time I've not did any posting here.

A lot of things has happened between now and then, will try update everything whenever I can. (yeah right! there's loads of stuff I've not updated yet)

BTW, today posting is to share and as well as to remind there's such inspiring article about a person filled with great courage. He's name is Hugo Chang, I'm not going to talk much about him. Below is interview Fridea did with him last year.

If you hang around California Fitness in Zhongxiao East Road in Taipei, you may bump into Hugo Chang - a beefy, sunny big boy with poster boy looks. He may be HIV+ but he doesn't let the illness get him down.

Chatty, witty and candid, Hugo Chang didn't hide his personality when meeting Fridae's Taipei correspondent Jason Tan.

"If it weren't for the fact that I am HIV positive, I could still be an arrogant, self-centered guy and easily have my way with guys - thanks to the cute looks some say I possess," admitted 32-year-old Hugo.

"I have to stand out and shatter the stereotype that all HIV/AIDS patients are dreadful," he said.

It was a hot, passionate affair when he gave a blow job - minus the protection - to a man while he had an ulcer in the mouth. Later, few feverish nights sent him to the emergency room, and the blood test showed that he was HIV positive. It happened in 2000, when he was 25 years old.

"People ask if I hate him for infecting me. But I wasn't forced into the act, so I had to shoulder half of the responsibility. Maybe it is my destiny and it prompted me to look at things differently. In a way, I am lucky," he said.

He came clean about his being gay and HIV positive to his family, colleagues and the public. While it's obvious he has got the whole package (and proves it in a Jan-Feb 2006 issue of Good Guy magazine), he is more than a just a pretty face. In 2005, he became the spokesman of a local AIDS prevention campaign in which he was the poster boy and he said: "Don't I look as good as Takeshi Kaneshiro in the shot?" He went on a popular TV talk show hosted by public gay TV personality Kevin Tsai to talk about LGBT issues and being a macho-yet-vulnerable man.

To Hugo, coming out wasn't a particularly difficult decision.

"This is my attitude in life, and being gay or HIV positive doesn't change the way I treat my friends. If you can't accept the fact that I am gay or positive, so be it," he said.

Hugo Chang (above and top of page, left) with well known Taiwanese pop star A-mei (middle) who's frequently dubbed the 'queen of Mandarin pop' speaking about HIV/AIDS at the Taiwan Pride Parade in 2007.

In this interview, Hugo bared all again - this time his soul - to talk about becoming certain of his sexuality in senior high school, getting infected with HIV and his decision to take a road less travelled.

æ: You wrote in your blog that you became aware of your sexuality in your teens, what was it like then and when did you come out to your family?

Hugo: It was in junior high school that I started to find myself curious about men's bodies. But I was timid as it was the days of limited information on LGBT issues. I was certain of my sexuality when I went into senior high school and before I reported for military training (which is compulsory for all Taiwanese males when they turn 19); I came out to my sister. She told me that our family would stand by me; but if I really opted to go this path, I had to be ready for the pressure and challenges usually not faced by heterosexuals.

æ: How did you find out about your HIV status?

Hugo: After a casual sexual encounter in 2000, I developed fever which lasted 15 days. I was admitted to the emergency room on the eighth day and the basic blood test came out ok. But I told the doctor I was gay and asked him to do a HIV test. (In Taiwan, doctors have to gain the patient's consent before testing for HIV). The test came back negative due to the window period and I did another test. The fever continued and I was hospitalised for a week. I was told to pick up another report in a month's time.

I had a whole month to contemplate on the outcome; there was a 50:50 chance of me getting infected. If the result came back positive, I had to prepare for the challenges ahead. I would be a lucky folk if I wasn't infected and I told myself I would take extra precaution in my future sexual encounters. But it was not to be.

I went to pick up the report in the middle of a work day, and told my colleagues to wish me luck. In the hospital, after being told that the test had come back positive, I only uttered an "Ah". I wasn't taken aback as I already had a whole month to prepare for the worst. I called my sister and asked her to tell my mother and brothers. The pressure was tremendous and I couldn't bear to tell my mother in person. My brother told me that she cried nearly a month but she didn't reproach me. She asked if she wasn't being a good enough mother.

æ: What made you decide to go public about your infection?

Hugo: These days, Taipei is more LGBT friendly. But I think there could have been some breakthroughs. I had evaluated the situation about my family and workplace and decided that the time was ripe for me to jump out and speak for the HIV/AIDS community. [Note: Hugo became the spokesman for Taiwan's AIDS prevention campaign in 2005 when the heatlh authorities wanted to promote the awareness on Dec 1, World AIDS Day.] Harnessing the power of media would reach more people than just coming clean to only my friends.

Going public was relatively easy as I had moved out of my family home after my military training, so fewer neighbours could recognise me and point fingers at my family.

If you have a positive attitude, most people wouldn't discriminate against HIV patients. I did prepare for the worst after telling the company what happened to me. I already worked there for three years, so I thought I would at least be compensated if I got fired. (Laugh) After appearing for the HIV/AIDS campaign, my friends were worried that my landlord would kick me out, or neighbours boycott me, or restaurants refuse to sell me food, but all these did not happen.

In general, I didn't really face discrimination except being rejected by some of the guys I tried to pick up. (Laugh)

æ: How did your colleagues react to the news?

Hugo: Some people think that all HIV patients are frail and/or those have ulcerous skin. I want to be proof that AIDS isn't that dreadful. I chose to took the medicine as soon as I tested positive although my viral count was low.

At the time, I would put the bottles of pills on the office desk, and I had to swallow 12 to 16 pills a day according to different schedules. Sometimes I have difficulty sticking to the precise intake timetable due to hectic office work, but now things are better as I only need to take the pills twice a day - in the morning and at night. To some patients who may vomit or have diarrhea after taking the pills, I would only experience nausea but now the situation is better as my body has gotten used to the medication after eight years.

Sometimes when my colleagues ask what those pills were for, I would joke and say: "They are for my HIV, so that I could live longer and share your workload." Probably because I am working in a media company [Hugo works in a TV station doing computer animation], so people here are open minded. And I had worked there for three years before the infection, so they already knew me as a person.

My boss even asked me if overseas treatment was more advanced, and if yes, he was willing to send me abroad. I was moved and consider myself to be a lucky guy.

æ: How does Taiwanese society and government today see HIV positive people?

Hugo: In Taiwan, patients have to apply for a special medical card to get full medicine subsidy from the government. The medical bill every month for a single patient could run up to nearly NT$20,000 (US$610), so it is a heavy burden for the government.

The government is still focusing on the education of AIDS prevention among adults. But another area of concern is of HIV positive babies. How could they adjust to school life given the stigma? People are still uncertain about the transmission ways of HIV/AIDS, even among LGBT community. But they are no longer that fearful/ignorant of the disease. I am trying to maintain a positive lifestyle and looking at my best. I want to prolong my lifespan now, so that when those days really come in the future, it would be the time I depend on my family.

æ: Why did you decide to strip for Good Guy magazine in 2006?

Hugo: After the AIDS awareness campaign, the publishing company approached me and wanted to do a story on HIV/AIDS and asked me to be the cover guy. I was then 28 years old, thinking that if I didn't do it then, I might regret that I didn't for the rest of my life! I did struggle as I was required to do full frontal shots. Then again, it did satisfy my desire to have my own pictorial and how could I let the cover boy chance slip?! (Laugh) Plus, I reached an agreement with the company: they would donate NT$5 per copy sold to help HIV positive babies.

But now, I have given away all the copies that I bought, and have to ask my female colleagues to give one to me if they no longer want the copy they bought. (Laugh)

æ: In your blog, you said that you would always inform your sexual partners of your HIV positive status... [According to the blog, Hugo met his ex-boyfriend in the gym, telling the latter straight before their first movie date that he had HIV. After the movie, he drove Hugo back to his rented house and Hugo plucked up the courage to ask: "Do you want to come up?" He replied: "I am looking for parking space." At the time, Hugo knew in his heart that this man was going to change his life.]

Hugo: I told my ex-partner the second day that I was HIV positive, I told him to consider the pressure and risks if we wanted to take things further. I didn't want to leave the issue in the future only after we had grown closer. I wanted to inform him in the first place, and let both of us have the right to choose. We were together for six years, and his recent medical report showed that he was negative.

I am now single and for my potential sexual partners, I would tell them "I am HIV positive". There are risks of contracting the disease not only in anal but also oral sex. If I had kept mum during the sex act without coming clean, I would face the moral pressure even with protection on. If you like someone and you have been through the inconveniences of taking the pills and all, you wouldn't want them to be in the same shoes.

æ: Do you have any regrets and what's in store for 2009 and beyond?

Hugo: We always have a lot of social commitments - to our work, our partners and our family - which don't allow us to go and do things we've always dreamed of. If you know you would regret, why not do it now? I am now single, and I want to go to different countries to participate in their gay parades. I want to learn how they promote LGBT rights and advocate greater awareness on the issue.

In terms of AIDS prevention, I still have to work and I don't think I can fully commit to that now. My EQ is low (laugh) and if other patients keep asking me the same question, I would be impatient. Many HIV positive patients tend to be depressed and would keep thinking of the same issue over and over again. I could offer them advice a few times, but you will have to be the one to get out of the mental trap and help yourself. In the future if possible, I would love to get involved in AIDS foundation work in Taiwan and help patients and their family members to get through the tormenting period.

Correction: The correct spelling of Hugo's lastname is Chang and not Zhang as originally published.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Me, update

If you ever see a blue Kelisa driving along Federal Highway, Jalan Semantan, Jalan Duta or Kerinchi Link with a good looking drive in huge shade and eating banana. Don't be surprise, it's me. It's my new lifestyle, it's part of my fitness programme. I enjoy it very much.

This is a mobile entry, shall go more detail later when i edit my post :)

Till then, have a good day

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I Got Raid!!!

For the first time in my no-less than 7 years of party life, last night was my first experience of getting raid by authority. It wasn't a bad experience for me at all, although I have to admit that I was pretty nasty for some. The only turn off throughout the entire experience was the waiting for the rest to get out from the club in long hour and worries for those who got detained for drugs abuse, where they were brought to the HQ of PDRM's KL contingent.

The best part of the incident came after the night, below is news from TheStar Online, sourced from Bernama.

KUALA LUMPUR: Police raided a gay club in Jalan Yap Kwan Seng early Sunday and detained 32 people, 28 men and four women aged 20 to 50, after they tested positive for syabu or methamphetamine.

Kuala Lumpur narcotics police investigating officer ASP Mohd Ashril Md Johar said the premise was packed with about 500 patrons, mostly men dancing in an erotic manner.

The police raid at 1.30am also found the drug Eramin 5 strewn all over the floor, believed to have been disposed by patrons of the club which began operation last year.

Mohd Ashril said there were about 500 men and 34 women at the club. The raid was made after police monitored the premise for one week.

The 32 people were detained under Section 15(1)(a) Dangerous Drugs Act 1952 which carries a three years jail sentence and a fine of RM5,000.

In another raid on an entertainment joint in Jalan Changkat Imbi, police detained 13 Chinese women working as guest relations officers and 11 customers.

Police found several rooms on the second floor of the four-storey building believed to be used to provide sex service and VIP rooms for special patrons.

The Chinese women were handed over to the Immigration Department while the men were detained for further investigation.

It's quite shocking that there's local wired news agent involve in the operation which I see in no sight and it's very laughable reading the statement made by the policeman saying they've monitored the premise for a week before operation begun. Do you see the problem?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Good Piece of Opinion

I'm really unmotivated at work today, although I have few deadlines to meet. I was browsing the internet, reading news and articles. I'm still very frustrated over the whole PPSMI issues although it has been quite sometime ago to the ever changing political news. I'm really glad to read this piece of opinion are being published on TheStar's opinion section, here's some capture from the original article:

Numerous feedback has been received by both the Government and the mass media on the issue. Some want to make English a compulsory examination subject, some want the Government to allow English medium schools or have more English classes, etc.

To me, it was a sad day when the announcement was made to reverse the decision made seven years ago. The policy of teaching Maths and Science in English had incurred much public funds to realise the goal and aspiration of the previous government under Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad. To the tax-payers, it was a mere waste of public funds.

One thing we have to be clear is that English will never make any headway in our education system unless there is strong political will in wanting every student to master that language, both spoken and written, at least to a competent level where they can engage the world at large.

Having more teaching periods and more English teachers will not at all bring the desired results unless there is that potent force to place English as a “must pass” subject at least at the SPM level.

To a large extent, the teaching of Maths and Science in English was very much politicised. Apparently, those who were for the reversion applied their heart instead of their mind on such an important issue.

In short, how else can we see the improvement of English among our students unless it is made a compulsory paper?

Another point is that we cannot afford to allow our education system to undergo frequent changes that do not benefit students at all.

In fact, the reversion of teaching Maths and Science to Bahasa Malaysia and the vernacular languages has in a way confused and complicated students as they have to make necessary adjustments to the policy prior to the decision made in 2002.

Many concerned parents and students are considering other options such as sending their children to international schools, Singapore, or countries such as the UK, Austra­lia, and New Zealand for their education.

Looking back, many may not look at the British colonists who colonised the then Malaya kindly, except for introducing to us their Westminster system of government, impressed us with their football, cricket, and giving us rubber seedlings, among others.

But at least the British did not withhold what was good for the country in the midst of their exploitation of our natural resources. One of their greatest “imports” to the then Malaya was that they taught us English, which was by then a widely used international language of communication.

A look at countries such as Indonesia, Vietnam, and many South American countries which were once under the Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese or French occupation would find to our dismay that these countries till today do not benefit much from their colonial rulers, except inheriting poverty and an unstable system of government of which they have not comprehended at all till to this day.

It is sad that Malaysia which was once an English-speaking nation is now struggling to master English. The British gave us a headstart but we did not capitalise on that advantage. In fact, we “butchered” English and labelled it as a colonial language we can live without.

I shall write my opinion soon.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Tuesday That Like Friday

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Somehow today feeling really unmotivated, its just like a Friday although the week has just started not too long ago. I was forced to blast myself with some beats just to make myself (or my hands to be exact) move in front of the computer.

This is what I've been listening to:


Sunday, July 12, 2009


I was watching "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" at home. My body is screaming for its usual daily dose of caffeine badly and I've only left Nanyang style coffee at home which I don't really into. Dragged myself to Starbucks for a quick fix but got disappointed by the stupid automatic machine made coffee for the 2nd time in this month. The Coffee Master offer me a 5 shots latte to make up the tasteless latte that I had earlier.

Miss the hand crafted Starbucks coffee so much...

Mobile Blog Trial

Everytime i wanted to write something here I felt emptiness although there's lot I wanted to share. Hopefully by activate mobile bloging will change the situation a little, I'll try make this as my "on the road" blog entry. That's the latest me caught in camera.